Slow days = Good days

Another slow day in the world of Atticus Goodahl. He continues to rest and heal, which is absolutely great! He is offically 2 months old today!!!! Yippee! Thank you, God for letting me have all this time with him. They had a little scare yesterday. The docs noticed more "free air" on his abdomen when they did one of the regular ultrasounds onhis belly. Dr Hsia told them NOT to take him to surgery under any circumstances. He got the Ped's Surgery docs to look at him and they said he looked great as far as they were concerned. (Thank you! No more surgeries!) So Dr Hsia told everyone to leave Atticus alone and just let him heal! Hehe. It's great to have such wonderful docs who've really gotten to know Atticus. Please continue to pray that his liver gets better...he's starting to look a little less jaundiced, so that means things are slowly improving. Still praying we make it home by Christmas...love you all and miss you guys!!

Still lots of recovery to do...

Sorry it's been a few days since the last post, but I was home in Aiken visiting with Robbie and the other two kiddos. It was so nice to see not only the fam, but to have a chance to see everyone at the Aiken COC on Sunday. It was also equally hard to leave, but good to get back to Atticus. Atticus is doing ok. He's had to have a drainage tube put in his belly again, but this has helped also stablize his blood pressure, which went a little wonky while I was gone. They also placed a new arterial line in the groin of his left leg so that they can monitor his BP. He's still fighting an infection in his ventilator tubes, which causes his fever to spike every once in a while. He's also still has several major wounds to heal such as all over his leg (though it's looking MUCH better) and on his chest from the heart surgeries. And his liver is still very sluggish, which is causing his feeds on breast milk to progress very slowly, and he's still very jaundiced.
All that said....he's been so VERY awake and active and alert lately. When I got to the hospital last night, he opened his eyes and looked at me at the sound of my voice. He stayed awake for a good 30 mins. Today was also another good day, as he was awake for more than an hour! While he obvioulsly still has a lot of healing to do, he has come such a long way. Hard to believe that he's almost officially 2 months old! Please continue to pray for my little Atticus and for the rest of our family. Still hoping to make it home for Christmas, but it's gonna take a lot of prayers, so keep up the good work!!! :)

Nurse Harriett: A nurse to be Thankful for...

GOD BLESS NURSE HARRIETT!!! She has given me one more BIG thing to be thankful for. I went back to check on Atticus after shift change today because there had been a lot of procedures this morning, and I think I spent more time in the waiting room than the PCICU. AND SHE LET ME HOLD ATTICUS!!!! YEAH!!! Hard to believe, but it's only the second time in his lifetime that I've been able to hold him. The other time was just before his surgery when he was just 1 week old. I held him for 2 hours!!! I just rocked him and worked on getting all the glue from the EEG out of his hair. It was wonderful! I can't wait for him to be off the ventilator so I can hold him all the time!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!!! I FEEL SO BLESSED!!! Keep prayin' for the little man and the rest of the fam!

Several steps backwards......

Wow, so much has happened since the last post.  I will try my best to update everyone on everything that has happened in the last few weeks.  About 2 weeks ago, Atticus had to have exploratory surgery on his intestines because the doctors noticed that he had "free air" on his abdomen in one of the ultrasounds.  This is generally an indicator that there is a hole in the intestines somewhere.  Thankfully, the doctors didn't find any holes, but it did leave Atticus with a new scar from the incision.  They followed up last Monday with an Upper GI with Small Bowel Follow-thru, which is where he "drinks" the barium and the doctors take x-rays of his abdomen to follow it through his intestines, to make sure that they didn't miss anything in the exploratory surgery.  Thankfully again, this procedure revealed no holes in the intestines, but they did say that his digestive system was running kinda slow.  Understandable considering all the different meds he's had, and the fact that he's never really eaten.

All seemed to be heading towards full recovery when things took a turn for the worse.  The general pediatric surgeons came to look at his leg and to "debreed" it, which basically means they pull the scabs off the leg to make sure no infections are building up behind it.  As they began the procedure, the nurse began to fuss at them because she hadn't given him anything for pain yet.  The doctors replied that it was dead skin anyway, so he shouldn't feel anything.  I was present and could see his ventilator rate jump to double what it had been, and he hadn't been breathing over the ventilator all day.  Needless to say, they stopped and the nurse proceeded to give Atticus morphine.  However, immediately after they resumed, Atticus began to have seizures again.  The seizures were almost constant.  As soon as one would stop, the next would begin, to the point that without the EEG machine, you almost couldn't tell one from the next.  This has been particularly hard to watch, and lowered my spirits to almost a breaking point.  I never doubted that God was in control; just that He was going to spare my son.  But God often leads us to our absolute breaking point so that when He works a miracle, we will know that it was Him.

After many days of prayer, God turned Atticus around when the doctors could do nothing for him.  He has now been seizure free since 9PM Thursday night.  My words cannot express the depth of thankfulness and gratitude I feel at this point.  God has heard the crying-out of my soul and performed a miracle for my son.  I cannot truly express what a relief it has been.  Atticus even opened his eyes and looked at me when I arrived at the hospital yesterday.  Atticus is continuing to improve on other fronts as well.  His leg has completely returned to a normal color, and has only the spots where the scabs were to continue healing up.  The sores near his groin from the IV have completely healed, the incisions from both surgeries continue to heal, and he is even able to get feedings of breast milk again.  The only other bad news is that Atticus did loose the very tip of his right earlobe today.  The same thing had happened to it as with his leg just after the Cath procedure, however, circulation never returned to it.  I am still very thankful that if he had to lose something, that it was only the tip of his earlobe instead of his entire leg!! 

Please continue to pray for Atticus.  He still has such a long way to go before he'll be able to leave the hospital.  Please also pray for Sandy and Gideon.  It has been hard on them to not have me around like they're used to.  I talked to Sandy on the phone the other night and she told me she was ready for me to come home.  Gideon would talk to me, and then run away with the phone whenever my Mom tried to get it back from him.  Please also continue to pray for Robbie and myself; that we have the strength to handle the things God has in store for us, and that we can be together again as a family soon.  We know that God is in charge, even though we don't know/understand what He has planned.  Thank you for the prayers, the cards, the emails, and the phone calls.  You are all truly a blessing to us!  Please continue to pray!

Daily Update

Sorry I haven't posted earlier, but I slept in. Atticus continues to make baby steps forward every day. He got his foley removed today (the urine cath), so he's just going in a diaper now. His leg is looking MUCH better.  
Still has parts that are really purple, and he still has the blisters, but the color is returning. He even opened his eyes and looked around for a few minutes today. They increased the amount of milk he's getting, and he continues to be seizure free!!! Thank you for all the words of encouragement, and please continue to pray for us all!!

A bad week

Well, a lot has happened to little Atticus since the last post.  I'll try to give you a brief summary of everything that has been going on in the past few days.  After my last post, the doctors informed me that they had found blood on Atticus' brain.  It is on the back right side of his brain, and the spot is about 4 cm.  They informed us that the effects of this can be from as minor as nothing, to as severe as seizures, cerebal palsy, mental and physical developmental problems, to death if the bleeding didn't stop.  The next day, on Monday, Atticus began to have seizures.  They were extremely frequent, although not full body convulsions.  His hands or feet or head would just twitch for a few minutes, and then stop.  This was very difficult to watch my son suffering in this manner.  But I tried to remember that God still has a plan for Atticus, and He was still in control.  His right leg also turned a dark purple, as a result of the Cath procedure, and swelled to the limit.  His liver and kidneys were responding very sluggishly due to all the different meds he has been on since birth, and a combination of all the abuse his body had undergone with all these various medical procedures.  This was causing a problem with swelling in his body as well, because he wasn't able to get rid of the fluid that was building up in his body.  It was also causing a problem to his platelet count, as the blood parts are made in the liver.

But as in all things, the Lord is always in control.  The following day, Tuesday, God turned Atticus around.  The doctors were able to get his seizures under control and he is now 72+ hours without a seizure.  Also, the swelling in his right leg began to go down and they were finally able to find a pulse in the leg, indicating that blood circulation was returning to the leg.  The swelling has continued to go down each day, and the color is slowly returning to that leg as well.  His liver and kidney functions began to improve to the point that they were even able to start giving Atticus lipids again (for nutrition) and even start him on breast milk again.  His urine output increased and the swelling in his body has gone down significantly.  His platelets remain low, but they have begun to be able to go 36 hrs before having to give him more, whereas before he was having to get platelets every 24 hrs.  And finally, all the stats/numbers for his heart are wonderful.  His oxygen saturation, blood pressure, and heart rate are all right where they want them to be.

Atticus still has a long way to go to be completely healed and able to come home.  The right leg, while color is returning and swelling is going down, has developed a number of large blisters all over it, due to the skin being stretched so tight for so long.  Also, he has a very bad sore on his leg, near his groin where there was an IV line that was put in during the Cath procedure.  They have been able to remove this line as of yesterday, but he has a lot of healing to happen as it is very rough looking.  His kidneys are doing much better, but there are some numbers that are a little high that the doctors are still monitoring vey closely.  As long as he continues to pee well, they say there is no major worry.  However, if his urine output decreases, they say then they will begin to worry about these numbers as it means that something could still be wrong with the kidneys.  Also, he still continues to heal from the heart surgery and all the wounds that are associated from that surgery.  Please continue to remember Atticus in your prayers.  He has already been through so much in the one month he's been alive.  God has made him a fighter though, and he continues to make progress each day.  Please also continue to pray for Robbie, myself, and the kids, as it seems that I will have to be here in Charleston much longer than we had hoped.  Thank you all so much for everything you've done for us thus far.  Thank you for all the prayers, the cards, the emails, the posts on Facebook, and everything else you've done.  We are truly blessed.  I hope that God will grant Atticus a speedy recovery so that I can return home.  Thank you again, and please continue to pray for us.

A very long post....

Ok, I know everyone's been waiting to hear an update on Atticus from yesterday. Sorry it's taken so long, but I actually just got home from the hospital, and the computer lab there isn't open on the weekends. Atticus was having a rough time with his stats dropping and then coming back up. They did another echocardiogram on him yesterday and noticed he had developed what looked like blood clots in his shunt (which carries his blood to his lungs for oxygen). If this shunt becomes blocked, it is fatal for Atticus. They decided to take him to the Cath Lab to run a procedure on him to make sure it was indeed blood clots they were seeing and take corrective action from there.

They wheeled him back to the Cath Lab at about 3PM yesterday. They found that there was a problem with his blood flow due to a narrowing in the Aortic arch where the shunt came off of it, leading to the lungs. When he had his surgery, he had a 4mm shunt put in, and it had narrowed to 2mm. They tried to do a balloon angioplast to enlarge the shunt, but it was unsuccessful. So, they had to install a stint (a mesh reinforcement) into the shunt. During the installation, the stint actually slipped off the balloon and had to be pulled out. They then lost there arterial access to his heart. After gaining access again, they managed to successfully install the stint, and this corrected the problem he was having with blood flow. He lost a lot of blood during this procedure and had to get a blood transfusion. He has also had a constant problem with low platelet count. It seems no matter how many platelets they give him, his body uses them up at a rapid pace and he continues to have low counts. This was causing problems with his ability to clot, and so several of his wounds were staying "weepy" and they had to get these healing.

He also had a problem with his belly being bloated. This was being caused because of the restricted blood flow, causing the blood to wash back on itself and emptying into his abdomen. They reinstalled a chest drainage tube and while in the Cath Lab, already drained over 300cc of fluid from his abdomen. However, this helped solve that problem and his tummy is soft once again, and it continues to drain. The other problem they had was once the procedure was finished and they were trying to set IV lines for once he returned to the PCICU. They couldn't get an arterial line in. They finally decided to have Dr Hsai do what they call a "cut down". This means that he would have to actually cut the artery in his wrist and physically install the line this way. Dr Hsai was unsuccessful in getting the line in the right arm, and eventually had to try the left arm, which he finally managed to get the line in.

Atticus is finally stable. He's back in the PCICU and his numbers are stable. His face is swollen again, he's back on a lot of the meds that he had been weaned off of, the head monitors are back on, and he's on a higher oxygen rate on his ventilator. He has stitches in his right wrist where they first attemped the cut down. His legs are also VERY swollen and purple from the lack of oxygen they received during the cath procedure, as they had put the cath lines in through his groin. His legs are looking much better and returning to normal color from when I first got to see him at 3:30AM (or 2:30 AM with the time change) this morning. By the time I left, his left leg was pretty much back to normal color and they could actually feel a pulse in this leg, but his right leg still looked pretty rough. His blood gas numbers are still very off, as things such as his lactic acid are high due to the procedure, but they are starting to return to normal.

Please pray for Atticus. He's had a very rough 24 hrs. It seems like this episode has basically caused him to lose all the ground he gained in the last 2 weeks. It's almost like he's starting all over again. I am thankful that God has blessed him with such skilled doctors and that He has allowed me another day to spend with my son. I am grateful that they did not have to reopen his chest and were able to correct his heart with the Cath procedure. I'm also grateful for such wonderful love and support I have been receiving from all of you. Please pray for me and Robbie as well. As hard as it is for me to be here and watch Atticus go through all of this, I know that it is equally hard or harder for Robbie to stay home during all of this to be with our other two children who need their father, as they are already having to do without their mother. I will continue to update everyone on his recovery. Right now however, I'm gonna go crash and finally get some sleep. Please pray that God continue to watch over us, and that He will let Atticus heal quickly.

Daily Update

Update for Atticus. Still pretty uneventful. Practice breathing w/o the ventilator. Newest addition though is that he has a wound (from the surgery) that just isn't drying out, so it can't heal. So they added a sponge vacuum to help dry it out to prevent infection and to get this little man healed!! Please keep praying that he'll heal and be able to come home soon!

Spoke too soon...

Big news is that Atticus is officially...OFF THE VENTILATOR!!! (Best Balki impression)..."We are so happy, we do the dance of joy! Di, di, di, di, hey, hey ,hey! He was so awake and alert when I got to the hospital today! Thanks for all the prayers! Keep em coming that he gets to stay off the ventilator!

Well......sorry folks! Looks like Atticus likes doing things twice. Two open heart surgeries, two chest closings, and now looks like at least 2 times on the vent. Oh well...he got a good 8+ hrs off the vent today. His numbers went sour, so he'll have to wait a few more days and they'll try to take him off again. Keep up the prayers that next time he'll be able to stay off!! :)

A few less tubes

Atticus update for today. He's doing well. He got his chest drainage tubes removed today. He also now has no urine drainage tube, and has stopped one of his antibiotics! Yeah! He's also missing the sensor on his forehead, and they're starting to wean down his ventilator, and the Resp. doc said he might be able to be off that by the end of next week!! Keep up the prayers, they're working!!

Oh! Almost forgot! The doc also said that the latest cultures show that one of the infections is no longer present! (Hence the stopping of one of the anitbiotics!) He's making some good foward progress. Please continue to pray that he continues to make all these "step-downs" and that he will be able to come home soon!

Quick update

I just wanted to send the latest update on Atticus.  He's stable and doing well.  They were able to finally close his chest on Monday, and he was able to tolerate this closure much better than when they had tried to close him on Friday.  His numbers have remained stable, but he does have both a blood infection and an infection in his throat from the ventilator tubes.  They say that his white blood cell count continues to escalate as his platelet count continues to go down.  They just started him on a third antibiotic which they are hoping will do the trick to get rid of the infections.  As of today, they have also begun to wean him off his morphine drip and his dopamine drip (for his blood pressure).  He seems to be handling these changes well.  Please continue to pray for Atticus as he still has a long road to recovery.  Also, please pray for me, as I've had a chest cold for the past 2 days and can't go see him in the hospital until I'm well.  This has been very difficult for me.  Thankfully, there is a phone number I can call 24/7 to check in with his nurses to see how he's doing.  Also, please pray for Robbie and the other children, as there have been a number of problems at the house, and he's under a lot of stress.  We continue to have faith that the Lord has a plan for everything, even if we can't see what it is.  Pray for quick recoveries for everyone, and for strength to get through this difficult time.  Thank you all for the phone calls, cards, support, and continued prayers.

And the fun continues....

And the fun continues today. Robbie tried to turn on the heater at the house this morning, only to find it broken...but no worries, we paid someone to fix it. Now Atticus has a blood infection and one in his throat from the tubes, so he's on a second antibiotic for that. Hopefully the doctors will close him up later today (Mon) and we can start getting some of these tubes out of him. Continue to pray for us all!!

Atticus is offically closed up now!! *Cheers! Hooray* Let's pray it stays that way. I only got to sneak in a see him for a few minutes b/c they had another baby coming back to the PCICU from the OR, so they had to kick everyone out again. He was sleeping and doing well, but his lactic acid did go up a little bit. I'll update again later when I get to go back in.

No luck....

Sorry I didn't have a chance to update yesterday, but the computer room closes at 4PM. Please continue to pray for us, as yesterday/today are very stressful. The doctors did end up opening Atticus back up b/c he wasn't handling the closure very well. His stats improved almost immediately once they did. We just have to be patient and wait a few more days for his swelling to continue to go down, and they'll try again.

Also, we found out from my sis and mom that someone tried to kick in the back door at our house in Aiken, but thankfully the dead bolt held and no one got in. Also, Sandy and Gideon are very sick with a nasty cough and need to go to the doctor. Robbie is on his way home to Aiken now to deal with the police, insurance companies, and take the kids to the doctor before heading to work tonight.  Please pray that he travels safely, that we can have the strength to handle all the things that have been thrown our way recently, that we can find a way to move out of that neighborhood and somewhere that our children can be safe and actually play outside, and that we remain sane (lol). I know God has a plan for everything...I just wish He'd let me in on it sometimes! :)

Chest closing!!

They finished closing Atticus' chest. However, we need everyone to send some prayers and healing thoughts our way. His stats look good, however, his blood gas numbers are a little off-so they'll be checking them every hr. If they don't improve, they may have to open his chest back up and wait another day or so to try again.  Also, his platelets have been low and the initial blood culture shows signs of a blood infection. They redrew his blood just to make sure that it wasn't a contaminate from the tubes-full results in a few days. Please pray that he is able to remain closed and that the second set of cultures comes back negative for an infection. On the positive side...he is waking up more often, so we finally get to see his eyes!

Daily Update

I just wanted to update everyone on little Atticus.  He's stable and doing well here at MUSC.  The doctors and nurses have all been wonderful.  Atticus' vitals have continued to improve after the initial scare the day after his surgery.  They have managed to wean him off several of the meds that they used during the surgery, and they have even managed to wean him down on his ventilator.  They are hoping his swelling will be down enough to be able to close his chest tomorrow, Friday.  Once they get past this step, he will finally begin to be able to make real progress on healing and leaving the hospital.  He will still need to likely be here for about a month, but this will be the first of many important "step downs".

Robbie and I cannot thank everyone enough for all your love and support.  The prayers, visits, phone calls, emails, and generous gifts have been more than we could've ever asked for.  We are truely blessed to have such a wonderful support network in you all.  We thank God for each and every day that He lets us have with Atticus.  Please continue to pray that all goes well for little Atticus, as he still has a long road to recovery from just this surgery, not to mention the surgeries to come.  Please also continue to pray for us and the other children, as Robbie will have to return to Aiken on Saturday to go back to work, and I will remain here with Atticus until he is strong enough to return home.  Thank you all again for your love, support.

Daily Update

Atticus is doing great. His numbers are back up and he's remained stable. Robbie and I have tried to catch up on some sleep. I feel bad for not being there 24/7, but I (and everyone else LOL) have to keep reminding myself that I just gave birth about a week ago and I'm SUPPOSED to be taking it easy. Oh well. We're getting ready to head back up there in a bit, so we'll keep you guys updated as things progress.

Daily Update

Well, Atticus is having to go back into the OR right now. His oxygen saturation numbers have been dipping really low, so they think there might be a clot in the shunt that takes the blood to the lungs. PLEASE pray that this is all and that they can clean the clot out and it'll fix the problem. We'll keep everyone updated as we find out anything else.

Newest update is that Atticus is off of the heart-lung bypass machine and that they didn't find much of anything. Atticus is very stable and they hope to be back in the PCICU in about an hour. We're hoping this means that it was just a blood clot and that he managed to pass it, so hopefully he'll remain stable.

Latest update on Atticus. Dr Hsia said they couldn't find anything in the shunt, but that Atticus was stable and his numbers looked good. It could've been a clot that just passed before they got to it, but his shunt was clear and getting good blood flow to the lungs. Just keep up the prayers that he remains stable and no more scares.

The wisdom of a 4 year old

This story was too precious to me not to pass it along.  Also, feel free to pass along to your friends and family if you choose.  As many of you know, my husband and I just had our 3rd child on October 5th, 2009.  His name is Robert Gary Atticus Goodahl, as we call him Baby Atticus.  He was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which requires multiple surgeries to correct.  Tomorrow is the big day for Atticus to have the first of the surgeries at 1 week old.  This is by far the riskiest of the surgeries.  My husband and I have been at the hospital pretty late and came home to my Dad's house to try to get some rest before we have to get up and be at the hospital very early in the morning. 

My husband snuck into the bedroom, where my 4 year old daughter Sandy was already sleeping in the bed.  He was in the bathroom, and she woke up due to the light coming out from the door.  Robbie (my husband) walked out of the bathroom, and she softly called out to him asking if we had been to see baby Atticus.  He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and the following exchange ensued:

Daddy: "Yes we went to see baby Atticus and he say he loves you and misses you and can't wait to see you.  You know that baby Atticus might not be able to come home.  He might die.  God might decide that Atticus needs to come home with Him."

Sandy: "Yeah.  I know.  It makes me sad sometimes."

Daddy: "That's alright.  It's ok to be sad."

Sandy:  "It makes me a little mad too."

Daddy:  "It's ok to be mad too, just not at anyone in particular.  It's nobody's fault.  Some things just happen.  And you can't be mad at God either because if God decides to take Baby Atticus home with Him, we can't be mad about that because that means that he gets to go to Heaven and be with Jesus.  And what could be better than that?"

Sandy:  "I know.  You know, Daddy, do you know what happens when you die? 

Daddy:  "What's that Sandy?"

Sandy:  "When you die, and you go to heaven and you meet Jesus, that's when you REALLY become alive."


As Robbie came out and told me this story, I realized that the old saying was true,..."Out of the mouth of babes..."  It's amazing to see the truth revealed through the simplicity of a child's explanation.  Please continue to pray for Atticus, that all goes well, and that we as parents can be as strong as our children.

Welcome Robert-Gary Atticus Goodahl!

Atticus was born today!  He weighed 8lbs 15ozs and was 21.5 inches long!  He was immediately whisked away by the doctors to the next room to be evaluated.  It would be a little over an hour later before I would get to see him again.  The pediatric nurses wheeled Atticus in.  Sandy (4 yrs old), Gideon (2 years old), and Jamal (3 years old-my nephew) were all in the room when they came in.  I was glad they all got to see him.  It was only for a few minutes though, because the heater in his little isolation unit was shorting out, so they had to rush him up to the NNICU.  It would be the next afternoon before I got to see him again.