Not the way I wanted to start my morning......

So yesterday was a pretty stressful day, and unfortunately it started very early at 5:30 AM.  I had given Atticus his last medicine at around 1:30 AM and gone to bed.  Then, around 5:30 AM, I had woken up to use the bathroom.  On the way out of my bathroom, I noticed the smell of formula.  This in and of its self is not totally unusual.  Atticus has a tendency to toss and turn in the night, and sometimes he disconnects himself from his feeding pump in the process.  So I walked over to his bed and reached down in the dark to check his connection, and felt that it was intact.  So I thought that he must have gotten the extension tube totally twisted around and actually disconnected it from his Mic-key button.

And that's when I felt the balloon, and totally went into freak mode.

For anyone who's not familiar with a g-tube, the balloon is what is inflated on the inside of the stomach to hold the Mic-key button in place.  So when I felt the balloon, there was one imminent question in the front of my mind.....How long has this been out??!

I immediately ran over and turned on the light switch (Poor Robbie!), ripped Atticus' formula-soaked blanket off of him, and pulled him out of the crib and laid him flat on the floor.  But once I lifted up his shirt, I saw that the answer to that question was...."for too long".  The hole for the Mic-key button was almost completely closed.  As I sat there on the floor, swearing and crying and praying, a million thoughts started running through my brain.  "Do we go to MCG (which is closer) or to we try to go for MUSC (who was more familiar with his case)?  What should I pack for him?  Thank God the older kids are spending the night at Nana's.....etc"  Then my brain took the course that all mothers' brains take, which is inevitably the worse case scenario.  I was sure that this would mean another surgery to replace the Mic-key button, which would mean he'd have to go on a ventilator again, which meant more sedation, etc, etc, etc.

I finally managed to pull myself together after about 5 minutes to get my butt in gear.  Robbie and I got dressed, he got the car ready while I packed a bag for Atticus, and we headed out the door towards MCG.  Thankfully during all this craziness, Atticus was laughing and squealing, thinking that he was getting to go on an early morning car ride.  He wasn't in any pain and was pretty pleasant.  Thank goodness for that.  I think I would have totally lost it if he was in pain or "screaming" the whole time.

We got to MCG by about 6:30 AM and went to the ER.  We finally got through triage, and they sent us over to the Children's side of the hospital.  Thankfully, the doctors were able to get a thin catheter in the hole, and slowly (over about 3 hrs) stretched it back open large enough to place a new Mic-key button.  The process hurt Atticus and he would cry whenever they were "stretching" or finally placing the button.  It just broke my heart because he was doing his silent scream (due to the vocal chord damage), his eyes full of tears, and he was just reaching up for me to grab him.  It was torture....for Atticus and for me.  Poor Robbie couldn't even stay in the room.  He had to walk in the hallway every time they'd do something to him.  He's kinda squeamish when it comes to that sort of thing.  That, and he can't stand to watch someone make one his children cry.  It instantly infuriates him.  So he just excused himself in the hallway so he wouldn't have to watch.

Finally, at about 10:30 AM, Atticus had his G-tube back in, I had given him a little bit of formula because he was STARVING, and we were headed home.  Not 15 minutes after we pulled out of the parking garage, poor Atticus puked up everything I fed him.  His stomach had been empty for too long, and had just been through too much abuse.  We pulled over, got him cleaned up, and finished heading home.  He was passed out within another 5 minutes after that.  I caught him up on some food and medicine as soon as we got back to the house, and we spent the rest of the day trying to take it easy.

I have to say, Atticus is quite the little tough guy.  Other than being really hungry for the rest of the day, he didn't even shed another tear.  And by today, he was back to his usual schedule.  He just continues to amaze me at how resilient he is.  Thanks to everyone who prayed for us yesterday during all the craziness.  I'm just SOOOOO thankful that Atticus didn't end up needing another surgery after all.  That alone was an enormous lift off my shoulders.  I suppose can't be too mad....that was the first time in almost 15 months that we've had to make a trip to the hospital with him for an emergency.  Ok, thanks for letting me vent about my stressful day yesterday!  As always, keep on prayin' for us!