We were on vacation, visiting my Dad and step-mom first. We had gotten in after a long day of travels the night before. Robbie was getting ready to go play a round of golf with my Dad. I was taking advantage of him being up before me to laze in the bed with Atticus for a few more minutes before Robbie would leave, and I would have to get up. I hadn't put my glasses on yet, but I saw Atticus squirming in the bed next to me, and assumed he was dreaming. He coughed a few times, and then I heard the sound of him throwing up on himself.
I scooped him, and carried him into the bathroom, noting that the puke seemed moucousy, and thinking his sinuses had probably just drained onto his tummy making it upset. I went to set him on his feet so that if he needed to puke more, he would be there at the toilet. He was limp, and I remember really looking at his face, about to tell him that he needed to stand up for me, and my heart dropped. His face was pale, his eyes were open, but Atticus "wasn't there". I went to the floor with him, my heart pounding, my brain screaming, "No, God! Please, NO! Please don't take my son!" In the next split second, my brain was registering that he was twitching. He was having a seizure. I waved my hand in front of his eyes, calling his name. Robbie must have heard the panic in the tone of my voice because one moment I heard him talking in the kitchen, the next he came running around the corner.
"Is he ok?", was his first question. "No" I managed to choke out. "I need the..", and my words failed me. I love my husband. I joke and say we share a brain some times. He knew exactly what I meant. He ran into the bedroom and began ripping the suitcase apart, and returned a moment later with the new travel pulse ox we had just gotten for Atticus. I turned it on, placed it on his finger, and waited for just a few seconds for those little numbers to pop up. It felt like an eternity. 57. No, no, no...not 57! My heart dropped and raced even more.
"Oh God! Please! Please be with my son!," I said in my mind. I heard my step mom cry out from the hallway, "Should I call an ambulance?" "Yes!," Robbie and I said at the same time. I looked at him. "I have to get dressed".
"I gotcha," he replied. We traded spots, and Robbie continued to hold and care for our limp, pale son; helpless as Atticus continued to seize in his arms. There with him to try to comfort him as he started to "come to", scared, confused, and exhausted.
I don't believe I've ever gotten dressed so quickly. I threw on my clothes, threw my shoes on, and retained enough forethought to run out to the car to grab my wallet because Atticus' insurance cards were in it. I ran back inside and continued to get myself ready, grabbing things for Atticus, and trying to make sure I took things like my phone charger, and Atticus' Cookie Monster. Robbie was still with Atticus during this time, putting fresh clothes on him after removing the puked on ones.
In what seems like the next moment, I climbed into the back of the ambulance with Atticus. Robbie followed behind in the car. Everyone else was with the Grandparents. The EMT hooked Atticus up to a monitor. Atticus was conscience at this point enough to voice his displeasure. The sun shined in through the glass, and Atticus squeezed his eyes closed and tried to roll over as best he could to get the sun out of his eyes. I remember thinking that was a good sign at least. The EMT was rattling off questions, and I answer them almost on auto-pilot. My gaze was fixed on Atticus, scanning him visually from head to toe, drinking in any sign of anything unusual or reassuring at the same time.
We arrived at the nearest hospital, and as we were walking into the doors, I saw Robbie running up to join me. We went in together, and begin to retell again the events of the morning. I then begin to answer more questions about his medical history, and I know immediately that we won't be staying here. Its painfully obvious that they are totally unequipped to deal with Atticus. The medical terms (which I've heard and used with his specialist numerous times) I was using to describe Atticus, his special heart, and complex medical history left the staff stunned. They were kind, and got him stablized, but quickly agreed Atticus needed to go to MUSC. The nurse even talked her friend into letting me into the cafeteria early while we were waiting, and then paid for my lunch. Those acts of kindness were so needed and appreciated.
The medivac team arrived to fly Atticus up to MUSC. We recounted the events again, and also tried to give them a crash course in sign language, since we couldn't go in the helicopter with Atticus, and it would be a 2 hr drive for us. Robbie and I held hands and watched as they loaded Atticus in the helicopter, crying and upset that we weren't coming. It broke my heart. I hoped that he would get in the air and go to sleep. Turns out he did just that.
Robbie and I started back to my Dad's house. I made phone calls, trying to make arrangements, letting my Dad know we were on the way back to his house, and our game plan for the older kids, the baby, and the dog. I hung up the phone with him so that I could use the GPS, and I just lost it. The stress, fear, and emotion of the morning came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I began to sob uncontrolably, Robbie held my hand and reassured me. I told him I knew it was ok, but I needed to get this one out. We also prayed and thanked God for his providence through the whole situation. Thank you that we were all still home. Thank you that I was still in bed with Atticus. Thank you that we were with family who could take care of our other children and dog while we went with Atticus. Thank you that we were going to MUSC, where he has had all of his medical history, and where they know him. Thank you that my sister lives there and could house us and dog sit while Atticus was in the hospital. Thank you most of all that my son is alive, and appears to be ok.
We pulled up to my Dad's house, already mentally exhausted, but just beginning. We went inside, shared our perspectives of the morning, updated them, and joked about how I was really ready for my coffee at 1:30PM. Robbie went into the bedroom, and I heard him say, "Oh! So its going to be one of those kind of days!"
The baby had pulled off her poopy diaper, and smeared it all over herself in the play pen where she had been napping. This put us about 2.5 hrs behind leaving for MUSC because we had to bathe her, and her lovey blanket, which had also fallen victim. You know, the one she can't fall asleep without. *sigh*. As soon as the blanket came out of the dryer, off we went. The meantime was spent cleaning, eating some more lunch, finalizing plans for the other kids, packing up the car, and talking with the doctors at MUSC.
We finally got to Charleston, dropped our dog to my older sister, and headed to the hospital. The minute Atticus saw me coming into the room he broke into a big smile, then started crying, and then alternated between the two. He was so happy to see me. I can only imagine how terrified he must have been. Not understanding what has happened. Not knowing where Robbie or I were. Not being able to communicate with any of the doctors or nurses because they didn't know sign language. I felt so terrible that it had taken so long to get there. Thankfully, the baby was allowed in the room with us during visitor hours, so we could all be together. Atticus was so happy to see Robbie and the baby come walking in the door shortly after me.
We once again recounted the events of the morning. They ask about the brain bleeds and seizures Atticus had as a baby. Shortly after we arrived, the neurology department came in to hook Atticus up to an EEG overnight. He was actually pretty good while the technician placed all the electrodes on his head. He was happliy distracted by his Signing Time video. I wish I could say the same for his behavior for the poor girl who came to do his EKG. 😞
The next 24 hrs were a blurr of watching TV, occasional checks by the nurses, and letting the EEG run. Robbie spent the night with Atticus in the hospital, while I took the baby back to my sister's house once visting hours were over. Then we finally got a visit from neurology.
The neurologist explained what we were seeing on the screen for the EEG. The blue lines were the left hemisphere. The purple lines were the right side. Both sides had great activity. (Thank goodness for some good news!). And this was their best explanation for what happened...the brain bleeds Atticus had as a baby left damage where the blood was. (That was seen on MRIs from when he was a baby.). They could also tell that these pathways had regrown themselves around the damaged areas, as seen by the level of activity on the EEG. When the body is sleeping, the neurons in the brain tend to fire more "freely" because the brain isn't "bogged down" with impulses from the body. (ie You don't usually register being lightly touched when you're in deep sleep.) Since Atticus' neurons were firing more freely, and since they have this unique physiology, they most likely "misfired" causing the seizure. They're not sure what triggered the misfire. All the traveling, if he was dehydrated, etc. But it happened. They decided to put Atticus back on Keppra (an antiseizure medicine), and were ready to discharge us. But, not so fast! Two minutes later, cardiology walked in and said they'd like to keep Atticus one more night just to observe him since he was starting a new medicine. Bleck!! I just wanted the nightmare to be over! But at least they disconnected the EEG, and he could move a little more freely around the room.
We were discharged the following morning with a new prescription, and are now safely back home. Atticus was so ready to leave the hospital, he started handing me bags from the little wagon he was in on his way out of the hospital, then jumped out with no shoes and ran to his carseat. We're exhausted, but so glad to be home. This vacation certainly didn't turn out as planned, but we are thankful that God saw us through every step of the way. Hug your babies a little tighter tonight because you're never promised tomorrow with them. This is just the beginning of yet another adventure with Atticus. He already amazes me at his resiliency. As always, keep on prayin'!!
Ready to come home!!
